Unfortunately, English is pretty dismal when we talk about "love", since what we mean when we use the term is heavily dependent on context and relationship. When I use the term in reference to my wife, my daughter, my friends, or my car, it has very different meanings and implications. Translators are somewhat stuck, because they really don't want to take a paragraph to unpack the word, based on the nuances of the Hebrew or Greek words being translated.
I came across a great passage for exploring the difference between two different Greek words often translated "love" in my devotional reading a while back, and started exploring it in BibleWorks to see whether unpacking the Greek would be helpful in understanding what is going on. Here's the passage (New English Translation, since it has no copyright issues):
Then when they had finished breakfast, Yeshua said to Shimon Petras, “Shimon, son of Yochanan, do you love me more than these do?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Yeshua told him, “Feed my lambs. Jesus said a second time, “Shimon, son of Yochanan, do you love me?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Yeshua told him, “Shepherd my sheep.” Yeshua said a third time, “Shimon, son of Yochanan, do you love me?” Petras was distressed that Yeshua asked him a third time, “Do you love me?” and said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Yeshua replied, “Feed my sheep.As I read this, I thought, there's something going on here between Yeshua and Shimon that is more than just repetition. So, let me show you the passage again, except in addition to using the Hebrew/Greek forms of the names, I'll insert the words that appear in Greek (in transliteration).
John 21:15-18
Then when they had finished breakfast, Yeshua said to Shimon Petras, “Shimon, son of Yochanan, do you agape me more than these do?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I phileo you.” Yeshua told him, “Feed my lambs." Jesus said a second time, “Shimon, son of Yochanan, do you agape me?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I phileo you.” Yeshua told him, “Shepherd my sheep.” Yeshua said a third time, “Shimon, son of Yochanan, do you agape me?” Petras was distressed that Yeshua asked him a third time, “Do you agape me?” and said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I phileo you.” Yeshua replied, “Feed my sheep."Now, it is unlikely the Yeshua and Shimon were speaking in Greek, since Aramaic was used for everyday conversation among first Century Jews, but the fact that the writer chose those two different Greek words indicates that there was, at least in the writer's mind, an understanding that Yeshua and Peter were talking about two different concepts here.
John 21:15-18
So, since what we have is the Greek, we'll work with that. Here are the two words, and their semantic ranges. I'm working from Freiberg's Analytical Greek Lexicon:
- Agape: (ah-gah-pay) love, especially of love as based on evaluation and choice, a matter of will and action;
- Phileo: (phil-lay-oh) love, as devotion based in the emotions, often distinguished from ἀγαπάω (love), which is devotion based in the will.
From this, I think we see the point the author is trying to make: Yeshua was asking Shimon about what he was willing to do, and Shimon was responding based on Shimon's level of devotion to Yeshua.
Yeshua asks: "Will you do as I ask?" and Shimon's message back is: "Yes, because I am devoted to you." so Yeshua tells Shimon to care for people. By the third time, Shimon is getting a little freaked out (distressed), which would be understandable, considering.
So, what is the message for us, here? Pretty much the same as it was for Simon Peter: If you're devoted to Jesus, care for others.
Oh, and that "love" in 1 Corinthians 13? That's agape there, too. It doesn't matter what else you do or feel, if you aren't caring for others, it is meaningless.